Agile Otter Blog

Let me tell you the two weirdest things about being home when you are a "road warrior:" Directions: I've lived in this area almost 10 years and don't know more than five or ten roads by name. I can barely get around without GPS. People describe places by approximation to local landmarks and I have no idea what they're talking about. When they talk about intersections it usually means nothing to me.  I've probably seen more of Europe than Lake County. I know how to get to a few restaurants and stores, my house, and the local airports. Otherwise, it's all unknown territory. I'm a stranger everywhere, but I'm pretty used to being a stranger. I think I've approached living in this house the same way I approach living in a hotel when I'm out on a gig, learning only enough routes and places to meet my needs while I'm there.  Roads I don't take, I don't know by name and don't know where they go or what they run past. Her...

Take a trip with me for a minute. Imagine that today you decided to shoplift.  If you are like me, that thought makes you edgy and nervous. If you are not like me, you can consider it with no feeling of discomfort at all. If you are a regular shoplifter, it might even give you a bit of a thrill. It makes me feel bad. Why? My great-nephew lived with me for a while. He believed that if he felt bad, it was incumbent upon everyone else to placate him. He would stage elaborate tantrums, public meltdowns, and crying fits. Creating feelings of guilt or shame in others was his reliable strategy. He was nine years old and never had to do anything he didn't want to do, or eat anything he didn't want to eat (at 9, he had never eaten a sandwich, soup, or vegetable until the 9 months he lived with us). Certainly, the kind of guilt that my relative used was a self-serving, manipulative, control strategy. It's not uncommon. I have known adults well into their sixties who wer...