Can We Process Our Hurts Without Going To Categories?
It Begins As A Reaction People who are hurt and angry sometimes give in to two unproductive natural urges: Hurt the other back so they'll think twice next time Disconnect oneself from the other to build distance emotionally Maybe it's these two urges together that drive people to go to categories instead of keeping the context of an interpersonal struggle between two people. It leads to using pejoratives related to the other's race, gender, age, sexuality, religion, etc, probably because these are known sore points, probably because they are shocking (and so speak to pain), and probably because they also leave the other categorized as 'less than'. It satisfies both urges. We don't have to give in to those twin urges. Most of us have given in at some point in our past. When I look back far enough into my past I can dredge up an example or two. I would like to make excuses, but I know it was ignorance and willfulness and that I knew it was...